one week in lancaster

so it has been a terribly crazy past 2 or 3 weeks. First my mother shattered her ankle, is now the bionic woman we call her, with 15 screws and a plate in her ankle. This happened exactly a week before my move to lancaster, so therefore i was in the hospital almost everyday/night of that last week in new castle. Then the moving and packing days arrived and just flew by and all the sudden i was driving away from new castle, my family, my friends, my home. moving to a place that is to be now called home, to my new church family, and new friends. so like anyone else does, on the drive out to lancaster that day i put on eminem "if you had one shot, one opportunity, to seize everything you ever wanted, in one moment, would you capture it, or just let is slip" I knew there was no looking back, no holding on to "mommy and daddy" anymore. i wasn't going to college, i was moving, for real, for good. This was my one shot, to get out, to take a chance, to make a change, a big change.

About a year ago God planted in my heart a seed and desire to move out here, of course not without holy hands, and to be apart of an absolutely amazing church, Freedom Life Christian Center. So after a year of dreaming and praying, it has all become reality, and i am giddy, missing home some days, yes, but not having much time to really miss it either. We (holy hands/first fruits) have moved our office out here to lancaster, more details on that to come in another blog. So i did not leave holy hands, i really believe holy hands will continue to be a huge part of my life, for a very long time. I could not be more excited about the opportunities i have with moving out here! Since i was a young girl i have always dreamed of getting my own apartment, with a little kitty of course and being independent all on my own before prince charming was to come along. i know it all sounds silly, but it's all coming together, and i just can't stop smiling, seriously. hehe. who would have thought i would love living in lancaster, but i do, at least this week i do.

anyways that's all for now, just some ramblings in my head...thanks for all the prayers. I am so blessed beyond words. :)

So my friend posted this video a few days ago and it's still sinking in. check it out: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTc_FoELt8s

The realism of how his statement is so true. Even in my own life. Is He enough? Will I be strong enough in those deep darkest moments to say that He is enough. What about my dreams? I'm not just talking about owning a SUV and living a pretty house with a white picket fence. What if my dreams, even if they are His, don't come to pass. What if? Will He be enough still? What if I never marry, if i never have kids, if i never get to see the places my heart longs to go to, what if i do get those things and they are taken from me? Will He be enough in those moments, in those times?

To sit and realize, I have one life to live, and if everything doesn't go as planned. If i don't get to see the seven wonders of the world, if i don't get a wedding day, if i don't get coffee with my husband when i'm 65, if i don't get to hold my new born baby, if i don't get to dress up my daughters for their proms and see my sons play sports, write books, and have children of their own. If I don't get to help train and disciple hundreds or even thousands of people to know God more and to love God more. My heart breaks just thinking these things, but what about Hebrews 11. When all those men and women who probably had similar dreams of their own that were probably never fulfilled. There was a greater promise, a greater fulfillment. God was enough for them. more than enough.

I pray that no matter what may come in my future, weather God fulfills the longing and desires and passions in my heart, or in fact that as John Piper says that I would be marked by suffering and that none of those things would come to pass so that in that i might show the world and the people around me that He is MOST glorified when I am MOST satisfied in Him. My flesh and my heart may fail, but He is my strength and my portion ....FOREVER. So be it!